Sheeza's Place

Photos..just a bit to hold you over.

2008-01-22T13:33:00.001-05:00

Me -- I so rarely have a photo of myself that I don't hate.

My little doll...she was a bit angry at me since she had been bouncing for longer than she would have liked.

Zakir and Shaan..I loooove Shaan's hair like this!

Nadia and Deen

Deeners

Issa, Shaan and Musa

Newest addition to our family - Kamran!

Shaan and Deen (or as Deen would say "Naan and Deen")

So, here are a few photos for the few people in the world who aren't on Facebook yet. So, for those of you who haven't done it already, join facebook! (http://www.facebook.com/) That's where I post all my photos.

Getting my weekends back...

2007-11-19T11:14:00.000-05:00

**Sorry guys..no photos yet...as soon as I get them off the camera, I'll upload**

For awhile, it seemed like every weekend was packed with functions -- too packed. It's not that I don't want to attend, but it was like others were scheduling my life instead of me.. Things are getting better though. This weekend was packed -- but it was mostly things that we had scheduled, so we didn't feel like we had lost control.

Friday was awesome. It was a great day for Shaan. Each child gets to have a "special day" once in the year at the Raleigh School. Friday was Shaan's. That meant that he :
- got to ready the morning news to the class
- took 5 items for show and tell (two were his arabic workbook and textbook)
- made a lifesize painting of himself with his dad (your parents gets to spend the day with you)
- took a special snack for the kids (samosay and spicy nimco)

He was so excited -- I have never seen him have such a great day. The arabic workbook was a huge hit. All the kids repeated the letters after him...then, during "center" time, a lot of them sat down with Zakir and learned the arabic letters. While Shaan was creating his lifesize painting with his dad, the kids had circle time with their teacher and talked about shaan. He had written his name on the board in arabic and they listed his traits. What was adorable was that a few of the girls described him as cute and smart...awww.

After school, Shaan and Zakir took their remote control cars and trucks outside (yes..they both get excitement from them..not just Shaan) and raced them around for awhile...yet another highlight in Shaan's day.

I have a great team and we all decided to go out for dinner with our significant others. None of them have kids yet (two have kids on the way), so it was all adults and Sarah. Shaan decided that he would rather hang out with his cousins Shahzayb and Sherjeel.

We went to Brasa -- a brazilian steakhouse. I can't say that I'm a huge fan of the brazilian steakhouses, but it's always the choice of the guys on the team. It was fun getting to know everyone's signficant others..everyone was laid back..and all we did was joke all evening. Dessert was chocolate covered apples..yumm...I went for the plain milk chocolate (boring i know), but it was awesome.

Shaan had a great time at Shahzayb and Sherjeel's place. As wrong as it is, he's partial to Shahzayb -- probably because they are the same age. I feel bad for bechara Sherjeel, but they're usually pretty good about including him. It was no suprise that they spent a good part of their evening trading their pokemon cards. Shaan trades them with his classmates at school daily -- and gets mad if we pick him up too early and he doesn't have time to trade. Shahzayb's teacher doesn't allow them to bring them to school and Sherjeel's school (the preschool) doesn't allow it either. Therefore, they are so excited when they meet up with Shaan and get to trade. As usual, it was tough to get Shaan to leave. I love how well he and his cousins are getting along..they are truly like brothers. As Farah (my sis-in-law) put it "They're not always going to talk to us...at least they have each other." -- well said....

Saturday was pretty laid back. Shaan plays soccer every Saturday morning. We were going to pull him from the class (or not sign him up next session) 'cause we didn't know how much he was enjoying it. However, when Zakir was at Shaan's school, he learned that Shaan plays soccer outside daily...so I guess it's worthwhile after all. Later that day, we went and hung out with some friends who also have a new baby Amina. Shaan was fascinated that she had the same name as the prophet's (SAW) mother. She is so cute and looks like her eldest sis...and has the longest, beautiful hands. We hadn't hung out with them in awhile, so it was really nice to just sit and play. Shaan, Halima and Maryam love playing together too -- so we didn't have to worry about them while we were there.

Sat night was the best. Zakir watched the kids (thank you!) and I went out with some of my girls. We hit downtown Raleigh -- has been years since I checked out that scene. We got dressed up and headed out for a night on the town. I'd share more...but what happens at girl's night, stays at girl's night :) It confirmed for me that girl's night is not a nice bonus..it's a necessity...I love my family, but everybody needs to get out once in awhile! I know not everyone agrees, but to each their own ...

Sunday morning was my relaxation time. I was still tired from Saturday night and Z and Shaan spend the morning at the masjid (Sunday school). Shaan had an arabic test and a test on Surahs. mA he had been working really hard and he told me the test was easy ...phew! We had two birthday parties in teh afternoon. Shaan hadn't been feeling great, so I conveyed my regrets to one (the school friend) and still went to Jannah's birthday party at Marbles (the same place where Shaan had his). The party was great..Asma had snacks and drinks for the kids -- along with the cake of course. In lieu of gifts, she offered the opportunity to donate $$ towards the sponsorship of a Pakistani child through Islamic Relief -- a phenomenal idea! I may follow her cue and do the same thing for Shaan's next birthday.

We spent Sunday evening with Zakir's family. We hadn't seen them in a few weeks and therefore, they hadn't seen Sarah. For those of you who don't have kids, you'll soon learn that, once you have kids, the family wants to see you primarily because they want to see their grandkids, nephews, nieces, etc. The great thing is that, as a mom, that makes you happy and not jealous in the least!

So..after a long time of no blogs..there you go. This week is thanksgiving break, so I should have a lot of fun stuff to share next week.

Pre-Halloween 2008

2007-10-30T14:30:00.000-04:00

Shaan on Halloween..ok..Halloween is technically tomorrow. Every year, I hope that I can get a lot of use out of his halloween costume.

This year, we get to / got to use it three times..

1) Safah;s birthday party -- Thankfully, Nura made it a costume party

2) The neighborhood halloween party

3) Halloween itself

Buying Shaan's costume this year was a chore. He has a thing with masks -- doesn't want to wear one. This year, he decided that he also didn't want a face mask. As he said, "Mama, I want to look like myself." After three trips to Party City, we finally settled on the cowboy..and he loves it. He wears it at home even when we don;t have anywhere to go.

Now, my costume -- that was a whole other issue. Maryam threw an awesome halloween party (surprise, surprise)..but finding a costume was tough. At first, I let Z choose a costume and said that I would choose one that complimented it. He decided on Jack Sparrow (Pirates of the Caribbean), so I chose the one female pirate costume that was not risque....but we weren't happy. It just wasted fun enough and my costume felt like it was madeout of paper.

Back we went...Zakir was finally a brown version of Napoleon Dynamite. While he didn't look that much like Napoleon, it was still hilarious. He even did the facial expressions and the voice. I was...wait for it...a witch. Original eh? Well, it fit my post-baby body and didn't look tooo bad, so it was the outfit of choice. In the end, what mattered was that we had a great time at the party.

Keeping the Photos Going...

2007-10-30T14:27:00.000-04:00

Before an iftaar...and photos from Shaan;'s 5th birthday. He made the shirt (with my help) and wore it to school.

Photos from Eid.

Random Photos with the Fam

2007-10-30T14:17:00.000-04:00

Some random photos from this fall....ready for iftaars..and just relaxing at home.

Back to School .. Back to TV

2007-09-18T17:55:00.000-04:00

Yes...you're right..Shaan has been back at school for a month now. However, I just went to his school's new website (www.raleighschool.org ) and saw a photo of Shaan, Sarah (sort of) and I on the first day of school. Fortunately, even though Sarah was only 1 week old, the photo of me is not as disgusting as I would expect it to be. :)

Thanks for the emails -- I know I haven't blogged in awhile, but I'll fix that tonight iA. The new season of shows are starting (yes..I am a TV junkie) and I am so excited. The hard part is going to be deciding what to record when there are more than 2 new shows that I want to check out. Just thinking about premiere week has me wanting to share the new shows that I want to check out...let me know which ones you're also waiting for.

- Desperate Housewives

- Grey's Anatomy

- Big Shots

- The Biggest Loser

- America's Next Top Model

- House

- Back to You

- How I Met Your Mother

- Private Practice

I think I would enjoy "Heroes" but now I want to watch the old seasons on DVD before I join it mid-story. Which ones are you guys looking forward to?

And the germs keep on spreading...

2007-09-04T14:36:00.000-04:00

This has been a crazy weekend....Zakir's back..for the entire week..so we had a good family weekend..sort of.

Shaan went back to school today after a week! Last Monday evening, he spiked a fever...caught it from one of his cousins. Zakir had it two days before that, but his was gone within a couple of days. Shaan had a fever through this past weekend! Today, he still had a bit of a cough, but I felt cruel keeping him away from school any longer. He'll be back soon -- hopefully ecstatic after his first day back.

So, through Saturday, Shaan was sick. Sarah was sick as well -- she has a cold..and today,a rash on her forehead. I didn't think the two were related, but the doc disagrees so she has an appt later today. Fun stuff. :( On Sunday, our 7th wedding anniversary, we had a nice dinner out and a nice day together as a family...and then, as was inevitable, I caught the cold/flu. Shaan and Zakir are finally better and it's my turn and Sarah's turn to work this thing out..uggh..

That aside, life with Sarah is going great. She's not sleeping any longer than 3 hours at a time, but at least (between feedings) she sleeps at night...I couldn't really ask for more. She's started to outgrow her bassinet, so we'll be moving her crib into our room later today iA. Her clothes are now fitting her better and, to my biased eyes, she gets cuter by the day. I have new photos, but will have to post them when I'm at home later today. Supposedly, they don't socially smile until they are three months old, but I don't believe that. Sarah does have the "gas" smiles, but they are different from the smiles she gives us when she is playing happily. I was able to capture them on camera today, so look for them in the next installment :)

Boring blog for today...but I know that my cousins read this blog just to see what's up with us lately, so there you go...more interesting info and photos later.

Time flies

2007-08-28T18:34:00.000-04:00

Sarah is 3 weeks old today -- can't believe how fast the time is flying by! I'm glad though, because, once she gets to 40 days old, I'll feel more comfortable taking her out and basically, it will put Z and I back into our social groove.

Shaan has now been in school for almost 2 weeks -- and sure enough, he had to take his first sick day today. Zakir had a really bad cold/flu this weekend (floored him) and he was nice enough to pass it onto Shaan before he flew out this past Monday. So, I have a newborn to take care of and Shaan (whose fever hit a high of 102.5 today..uggh). Thank god for my mom -- makes life so much easier. Shaan has also been, mA, wonderful -- he's still been eating pretty well and he has spent most of the afternoon sleeping.

My biggest worry was Sarah -- if she got the same thing, it would have been really hard on her. So far so good -- iA it will continue this way. When I spoke to the doc, they said that Sarah should (iA) not get it because, due to her young age, she has some built in immunity. That hasn't stopped me from checking her temperature every few hours :)

So back to Shaan and school. Kindergarten is so different. He takes a snack and lunch to school every day and everyday, I pray that he actually eats a little more of the lunch. The good news is that he is loving school and really looks forward to it. I've noticed that this year, for the first time, there is separation between the boys and the girls. All of the kids he plays with (for the most part at least) are boys -- I can't say I'm not happy about that. There are three "couples" in his class already..no joke. Two kids are getting married and two other couples are "in love" but not getting married. I, of course, had to ask Shaan who he was going to married. He answered perfectly -- "I don't want to marry anyone! These guys are crazy! Don't I have to marry a muslim? There are no muslims in my class."

Back to the daily grind..Sarah is getting up and so is Shaan (can they not choose different times?!).....and I still have to get out for my run. I hope it's a run..the other day, it was a fast 3 mile walk...iA I'll be stronger today...i am so sick of the postpartum belly.

A few more photos of Sarah...

2007-08-24T19:33:00.001-04:00

A Glimpse of Sarah Hussain

2007-08-24T19:20:00.000-04:00

So, for those of you not on facebook, I'm sorry that I haven't posted photos earlier! Here are a few...from the first day through a couple of days ago. She's changed a lot this week, but my camera's dead so I haven't had a chance to take new photos. The jaundice is wearing off so she's not looking as kaali anymore. I think she has zakir's eyes/eye area and I think that her nose, cheeks, mouth, etc. resemble Nadia. Zakir insists that she looks like me -- here's hoping :) I think he's just saying it to make me feel better...i.e. it would be nice for one of my two children to look like me, but I have a feeling Zakir's genes are just stronger than mine!

Anyways..enjoy the photos! Excuse how bad I look....a nighttime birth will do that to you . :) More to come soon...

When Will I Sleep Again?

2007-08-21T12:19:00.000-04:00

Sarah is two weeks old today...I can't believe how fast it seems to fly by and, at the same time, how slowly it seems to pass. It's fast during the day -- before I know it, I'm getting Shaan into bed, getting her settled, and saying dua after dua in the hopes that Sarah and I will have another good night of sleep. I go back to work when Sarah is about 2.5 months old and that seems like it is right around the corner. Granted, I will work from home a bit at first (I love the flexibility of my job :) ), but I will still miss some of those important moments and that's just something I'm going to have to get over or it will drive me crazy.

Sleep ....what a wonderful thing...though I don't remember what it feels like to sleep more than 3 hours in one stretch. Am I the only one who has a really tough time when sleep-deprived? I'm just one of those people who needs her 8 hours of sleep or I don't function very well. After two weeks, you would think that I would be getting used to it right? No...I just keep waiting for the day when she sleeps through the night and I get my sanity back.

The other thing that is challenging right now is being stuck at home (or at mom's house). As many of you know, I strongly believe that baby and mom shouldn't be out and about for the first 40 days after the new baby arrives. I am fully aware that some of you think I'm old-fashioned, crazy, or perhaps a bit of both -- but I'm ok with that :) Why do I do it? 1) If I take her out, people will be holding her..passing her around..all with the best of intentions. The fact is, newborns are fragile and fighting off something as simple as a cold is difficult. It breaks your heart the first time your little one fights a virus...and I'd like to delay the inevitable. 2) For the mom -- it took 9 months (almost) to get to the baby's birth and I don't think 2 days is sufficient break for your body. I have bursts of energy but my body is still working to get back to the way it functioned before and I should give myself some time. 3) I had a third reason...but I can't remember what it is right now..oh well...

Even after all that, this weekend was brutal. I missed Jawad's valima, Uncle Ashraf's valima, Laiq's birthday party, etc etc...Zakir and Shaan attended, but I was at home. I miss all my friends a lot, but it's just another couple of weeks before I'm back in business. Thanks to everyone who's called me, texted me, emailed me, etc..can't wait to see you all again soon!

Sheeza

Back to Life, Back to Reality....

2007-08-17T09:08:00.000-04:00

So, I'm back..well, not really, but starting to get there. I really thought that, this time around, things would be much easier because I've done it before. However, I've learned a few things...
1) As great as your first child is, he will act out when he gets little attention
2) My kids don't like breastfeeding....it's not a great experience as it should be...it's just hard...really hard
3) The lack of sleep is easier the second time around, but I have less patience for Shaan when getting him ready in the morning
4) I need to stay at mom's place all day...no housework..no worrying about making meals...the end result -- a slow return to sanity
5) The weight doesn't come off the second time like it did the first time
6) Your second labour can make the first one look like a day at the park in comparison...one day, I'm going to have to tell Sarah how tough she was :)

They say each of your children will be different...I am sure that Sarah will be different, but so far, she seems to be following in her brother's footsteps. She sleeps at night (between feedings) - for which I am very thankful. She doesn't want to work for milk ..Shaan didn't have any interest in feedings...She definitely does, but she wants it to be easier. She is fighting jaundice like Shaan did. The tougher part this time around is that I have two of them and with Z out of town all week and my crazy hormones, some days it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I went to Target the other day to pick up some things and found myself looking at parents of 2 - 3 months olds with envy...can't wait until I am found my groove...only bad part is that I will be going back to work...

As for Shaan, he started kindergarten this past Wednesday. Sarah and I dropped him off -- it's the only place I've taken her since she was born (besides the doctor's office). He was very excited and, as in past years, he had no separation anxiety. I love this age -- the age where they are still excited about school...where they want to get up every morning and get there as fast as possible. The only challenge is the lunch situation. I pack him a lunch everyday (soon, he will be able to order them)...he eats his cheese stick, a few bites of his sandwich, and the milk that he gets at school. Not enough. Oh well -- I am trying not to stress about it too much. He will learn to eat it faster when he gets more hungry and realizes that he has a better afternoon when he eats well. For the first week, kindergarteners get out at 12:30, so that's another reason that I am not worried about it at this point.

I can't believe that I've found enough time to write this much..iA I'll be more regular with these as time goes on. I will try to post some photos later today since Sarah is about to wake up for her next feeding. Thank you to everyone who has called/emailed/visited...iA we'll get to see everyone else soon...weekdays are just tough since I'm a single mom. :) Also, since I am trying to keep Sarah away from the outside world and therefore, hopefully germ-free, I won't make it to the events this weekend (which is killing me)...but I hope to join the regular world again soon :)

Proud Mama...and maybe a little Crazy Mama as well

2007-08-02T22:04:00.000-04:00

This blog could also be titled - have I completely lost it?

School hasn't started for Shaan yet (about 12 days to go) and all summer, I've had him working on "homework" hardcore. I have been doing it for a few years, but I kick it into high gear in the summer. Besides his swimming and soccer, what else does he have to do? And I try to tell myself it's good for him and it doesn't take too long.

Of course, I want Shaan to have a leg up when he starts Kindergarten in two weeks (iA), but it's more than that. He's 4...all the other kids in his class are 5. I don't want him to keep up with them. I'll be honest, I want him to be the best. He's intelligent, mA, and I know he has it in him. He's his mother's son and, while he works hard at everything, his favorite subject is math...like mother, like son. :)

So, here's where I might be crazy..and I welcome your feedback, support, criticism. We all have to do what we feel is right for our kids, but I have no problem hearing that people think I'm crazy. If nothing else, I'll take it easier on him when he's having a day when he's just not in the mood to work. For you to be able to provide your thoughts, let me tell you what he does daily.

1 page in his phonics book -- front and back
1 page in his math book - front and back
1 page in his reading readiness book - front and back
1 page in his writing book - front and back
2 notecards that we write out for him at the start of the week - each has 10 problems on it...10 addition on one...10 subtraction on the other
Reading his Qaida (arabic)
Reading a few pages in his latest book

So..that's daily. He finishes his notecards when he is having breakfast (10 minutes). He does his 4 workbook pages at my mom's (or so I hope) in 30-40 minutes or so. He reads his arabic and his english book with me in the evening (total 15 mins of time). Is that too much?

I was wondering if it was...but I'm not so sure. At the start of the week,I put all of the pages for the week (and notecards) in a folder...pocket on the right. As he completes them (all of them have to have his name on them), he moves them to the left. He finished this week's work this morning, so he knows that he has no worksheets left to do before his dad arrives back from Indiana tomorrow evening. So what did he do? He did extra pages..10 of them..from random books. I had to stop him finally, because it was 8 pm and I wanted him to relax for awhile...we played monopoly..played with his cars...had a great time, because he had a huge sense of satisfaction and was in a great mood. He was so excited about how proud his dad was going to be of him. Does that make the amount of work ok?

When school starts, I will of course change it up. Arabic still has to be done daily..so does reading. The rest of it...i'll keep it going..but the number of pages will of course drastically be decreased.

So fire away...Where do I fall on the crazy scale?

The Countdown Continues...

2007-08-02T21:48:00.000-04:00

So the countdown to the arrival of baby girl Hussain (iA) continues.... My OB appts are weekly now and I feel so close. If she arrives the same day as Shaan arrived, then that would be this coming Saturday -- the first day of week 38. But I want her to wait! Why, you may ask? I'll be full-term on Saturday, but I'm just not ready. Although I've done it before, the reality of what has to be done is setting in and is ..umm..downright scary. Secondly, I haven't hired the last person I need for my team (a ton of interviews scheduled for next week) and I need to get that done before I am out for 2.5 to 3 months!

As for the delivery itself, I feel weird saying it, but I am suddenly petrified. My mom thinks that I should try to do it without the epidural ...after all, I did it once right? This is coming from a woman who had an epidural with every one of her three children. I guess she just figures that, if my labour is as fast as it was with Shaan, what's the point of all the drugs. What do I think? Uh ..no...i'm scared enough as it is. To be honest, if Zakir is in town when she's born (iA), I might be a little braver. If I have to do it on my own, I don't want to feel it.

So I went to the doc today...my little girl has been moving, but far less...and I was worried. I have a tendency to get worried in between appts, so that's nothing new. I was hoping it would be relatively uneventful...and it sort of was. My group B test came back negative...which is great...no pesky IV needed unless I get the epidural... Unfortunately, I lost weight..again. What the heck is going on? They told me that I lost weight last time (0.8 lbs over 2 weeks)..not too bad since it was the first time. They did an ultrasound that same day, so at least we knew that the baby was doing well alhumdolillah. So, this time, in one week, I lost weight again...I'll let you guys guess how much.

Of course, I'm worried... my baby's heartbeat is nice and strong, she's still moving alhumdolillah, and my belly measures one cm bigger each week (as it should...37 cm today)...but I'm still scared. If you're reading this, please keep us in your duas... The doc is not worried..says I'm just lucky (i.e. weight gain wise) since the baby seems to be doing well. She did ask how I was eating? i.e. was I trying to eat low fat, small amounts, etc. I insisted that I wasn't. She asked what I had for lunch...a burger..fries...and a coke....that's when she stopped worrying. Oh well..what can I do, but keep trying to pack it in? Any of you who have been pregnant know that, at this stage of your pregnancy, that's easier said than done..there's just no room left in my abdomen for food with the baby taking up so much space! Any ideas? I've been eating regularly since my appt -- hungry or not.

So, besides tipss on what I could/should eat, I have another question to ask of the moms out there. I want to leave the hospital within 24 hours if I and the baby are both doing well (iA). I hate hospitals..I would have left in 24 hours with Shaan, but, due to his circumcision, that wasn't an option. My mom always sent us to the nursery, so she's a fan of staying there as long as possible and getting your rest....not me..I get too worried to even send my child to the nursery. What do you guys think? Stay there for 1 day? 2 days? more? (i.e. if I had the option)

Pout-a-licious

2007-07-23T12:20:00.000-04:00

I hadn't planned to blog today, but I just couldn't resist since Shaan provided me with a story. Yesterday, we let him spend most of the day at his daadi's house (his cousins are visiting from California) and, when it came time for dinner, he gave me more trouble than usual. He got in a lot of trouble (understatement), ate a granola bar and had a glass of milk, and I clearly let him know that there would be repercussions later. I decided that, today, he would not get to go there to play...as his punishment for completely defying me yesterday. I know it doesn't seem like that big a deal, but he loves going there and I am usually a softie when it comes to anything that he wants.

Sure enough, he woke up this morning ( I was at work already ) and told his dad that he wanted to go to his daadi's. Zakir said no -- but that he could still go to his nani's (loves going there as well..but that's the norm). He started pouting..calling me over and over..explaining that he didn't eat yesterday because the chicken was too hot (yeah right..that's my chalaak son for you)...promising me to do his work well and be a good boy....telling me that he would give me a sticker if I let him go....etc...etc. I stood firm though -- no means no. So, then, he hung up on me and started pouting at home. He even asked his dad to take a picture of him pouting and to email it to me -- so I was aware of his bad mood. His new thing is to try to make me feel bad and call me "bad mommy" if he doesn't get his way. That's just fine with me, since I know he doesn't mean it.

He'll say "I don't like mommy."...you'd think that would bother me..nope. I just say "ok..that's cool...you still have to listen to what I'm saying." It reminds me of Waqaar and my mom -- Waqaar was a teenager and would tell my mom he didn't like her if he didn't get his way..she would just say "I don't like you either" and move on...it was hilarious :) Neither one of them meant it..and they both knew it.

I've included a photo so you can see what my little drama king looks like when he's pouting. :)

The saga didn't end there though. Shaan didn't want to let Zakir get anything done -- just because he was mad. Zakir called me to ask where his keys were (Do your husbands do this ladies? Mine thinks that I am his personal memory bank for lost/misplaced items). He was searching all over the house and couldn't find them. I insisted that he had taken them in the house last night and they must be in the kitchen or family room. Finally, I heard him start laughing and sort of getting mad at Shaan at the same time. Shaan had found them before Zakir and had hidden Zakir's keys (along with his watch) in a box and put the box behind a pillow on the sofa...crafty...yet, I can't lie, I was impressed :) He made his dad run around the house on a wild goose chase for a good 10 minutes.

Random Photo from this morning - -he loves this topi

2007-07-16T11:46:00.000-04:00

Shaan watching Thomas and Friends as a reward for how great he was all morning...

The Decision to be Happy

2007-07-16T10:01:00.000-04:00

For once, I really do have a story that doesn't have to do with my pregnancy..but not yet...first I have a question for the moms out there (or anyone else who has some advice!).

1) Why don't maternity pants stay up? I thought my maternity pants were just big on me because my belly hadn't filled out yet. Granted, I'm not an exceptionally big pregnant women, but come on...in the past month (perhaps due to my lack of waist) I am constantly pulling up my pants. I like the maternity pants that just have the band around the waist, but, functionally, those are not working. Which ones are? You guessed it -- the awful ones that come up right above your belly. Very comfortable..but not attractive :) So what's the deal ladies? How do I get around this? I don't remember it happening with Shaan, but it's been a loooong time.

2) Did anyone's water break in public? So this is my new fear...well, not really a fear, but something I wonder about. With Shaan, my water was broken at the hospital ... so what will happen this time. I don't want it to break at home, because, umm, who's going to clean that up?!? There's no way that I could leave the house with the mess there...so, if Z were still out of town, it would be me.

Next option -- it breaks when I'm out in public. I thought about that this weekend when we were at Babiesrus. We were stuck (couldn't leave), because an ambulance and fire truck showed up and were parked behind our car. My guess -- one of the many pregnant women in the store must have gone into labour or had some other issue. Anyways, if your water breaks, what do you do? Get to the hospital and, on the way out, mention oh-so-casually "Clean up on aisle 4?" :)

My hope...let the hospital deal with it ..I don't want to know anything about it!

Here's my non-pregnancy story. Z and I made a realization that we're too hard on Shaan. I know everyone thinks their child is awesome ..and we're no exception! He's wise beyond his years and I know that I can take him anywhere and he knows how to behave. That being said, when he does act up, we are haaarsh. I'll speak for myself -- I scream at him too much. I could blame it on the pregnancy (which I think is part of the problem), but I have to accept that, for one reason or another, I will lose my patience and have to learn to deal with it better.

So, last night, after reminding ourselves for the bazillionth time that he's only 4, we made a pact to not scream at him..ever. That doesn't mean I won't be stern with him..that I won't tell him what's wrong and what right. What it means is that 1) I will let him get away with things sometimes...it's part of the luxury of being a child and 2) when I get mad, I will not raise my voice (God help me here..this is going to be tough!).

This morning, before I left for work, I reminded Zakir of what we had decided. This week, he doesn't have to travel until tomorrow, so it was daddy and Shaan's morning together. Apparently, even though I said goodbye to him, Shaan had a meltdown right after I left. Apparently, he didnt' get a chance to say "goodbye" to me. Zakir was frustrated when he called to tell me and Shaan was crying -- wonderful -- makes my day so much easier.

I'll be honest -- I told Z that I wasn't going to feel bad about Shaan's dad having to handle Shaan...he's suppppooooosed to! (but I did feel bad). I called back after an hour or so to see how it was going. This is what happened:

Zakir told Shaan that he was going to go downstairs. Shaan could sit on our bed and keep crying or he could decide to perk up and have a great day. He could call Zakir and let him know when he had made his decision.

So what would you expect? I expected that he would have cried it out until Zakir gave in or came back angry. But no! My wonderful son called to his dad a few minutes later. When Zakir went up to see him, he told him that he had decided that he was going to have a great day. With that, he got off the bed, brushed his teeth, washed his face, changed his clothes and headed downstairs for breakfast. He ate his breakfast well ( a feat for Shaan and Daddy both), finished two of his homework pages (yes..i have him do 1 page in about 6 books everyday..so many skills to master!...and then there's the Qaida)...and was being rewarded with an episode of Thomas and Friends when I called. This is how life should be....today's going great so far, alhumdolillah!

My Weekend Scare

2007-07-16T09:42:00.000-04:00

*** For those who don't want to read about my pregancy stuff, now would be a good time to skip this entry ***

Secret readers -- i seeeeeee yooouu. :) Remember : nowadays, there's no way to hide! :) So, if you are reading, great! -- but I would love if you would leave a comment!

This was an interesting weekend...and not in a good way. It started off well enough -- again, as is typical for me on Monday mornings, I can't remember what we did on Friday. Saturday, though, is as clear as a bell! I couldn't sleep on Friday night..woke up at 6 am..then again at 8 am. I had some breakfast, didn't feel so hot and went back to bed. When I woke up an hour later, I was in bad shape. I had sharp..and i mean sharp pains in my stomach. Trust me to not remember what contractions feel like so, just in case, I started paying attention to how often I got them. They never occurred more than 4 times in an hour, so I figured I was good.

This continued all day...I was nauseous, sick to my stomach and in pain. I was pretty sure it had to with something I ate, so I didn't call the doctor. I was really disappointed that I would have to miss my friend Ema's baby shower that day, but I figured, better safe than sorry. I also didn't want a bunch of people to see me double over in pain and wonder if I were going to go into labour right then and there!

I, of course, thought that my body was preparing for labour and that, at 35 weeks gestation, I was going to be headed to the hospital. I was terrified -- Shaan was a few weeks early, but this was just way too early. I just want three more weeks! Since I hadn't called the doctor, I obviously wasn't sure...actually, I was in denial. So, then I thought I had listeriosis. Simply put, it's a bacterial infection that can occur when you eat things like deli meat that aren't reheated properly. A couple of days before, I had eaten a Subway sandwich and on Saturday, i was really regretting that. Symptoms include everything that I had..plus fever and chills which I didn't have.

So, I skipped the baby shower...skipped dinner and a movie that night (really wanted to hang out!) and slept and rested all day. When I woke up Sunday morning, I was hungry! What a great feeling since I didn't want to eat anything the day before. I ate breakfast and feared that Saturday's events would re-occur. So far, so good. I had a stiff neck for much of the day...and a lot of pressure in my lower abdomen -- but I was sooo much better than the day before.

We went out to Babiesrus to buy a belly band -- is that what they're called? I didn't need one with Shaan, but apparently, they are supposed to help with the pressure in your lower abdomen. They had one there -- some contraption that has about 20 places that you need to secure it...it seemed way too complicated! All I wanted was a simple band that held up my belly from the front and wrapped around my back. I would have bought it, but they didn't have my size -- a blessing in disguise. We then went to the mall to get one from the maternity store -- by now, I had done a lot of shopping, and the pressure was a little much, so Zakir went in alone to get the band. It was exactly what I expected and what a world of difference after I put it on!

Since then, everyone I've spoken to has told me that they may have used a band with their first child..but they ALL needed it with their second. That makes me feel muuuch better :)

So there's my big pregnancy story for the weekend...thank you to my friends who were concerned about me and I'm sorry that I couldn't hang out like I had hoped!!

Feraz and Asra's Walima -- Random Photos #2

2007-07-11T23:59:00.000-04:00

Ayesha and I...we have a similar picture....both in white outfits...from Cary Community in 1994

Zakir and I...Can't wait until the baby arrives (iA) and the swelling leaves my face

The guys...nice face Zakir..

Feraz and Asra's Walima -- Random Photos

2007-07-11T23:55:00.000-04:00

Zakir -- On the way to the walima...

The ladies' table...

Zakir's mom and some of Z's other family members...almost his entire khandaan was there!

JD, Omar and Zakir

Maryam, Sheeza and Sarah

Deeners

2007-07-11T23:51:00.001-04:00

So, we call Shaan Shaaners...which makes Deen Deeners. Here are some pics from this past week. He looks so much like what Nadia looked like as a child....with some touches from Dad too of course :)

I'm Back Baby...the Blogging Hiatus is Over

2007-07-11T00:48:00.000-04:00

I can't believe that it has been weeks since I last blogged -- blame it on Zakir -- he was in town, so I didn't have to rely on my blog to let him know what's happening in Raleigh.

The past week was busy but a lot of fun. I was really looking forard to fireworks on the 4th of July -- largely because it's something that Shaan, Zakir and I do together...we've always just gone alone..the three of us. This year though, Nadia flew into Raleigh at 8 pm and then Zakir's sister, Sarwat flew in about 1.5 hours later. We picked up Nadia and then hung out at my parents' place for 2 hours ...then, it was off to Zakir's parents' place for another couple of hours. Needless to say, we were wiped out by the end of the night and completely exhausted the next day. Nadia was in town for 5 days -- to throw my baby shower -- which was really sweet of her. Sarwat is here (as she is every two years) for the entire summer. She leaves on my due date, so the hope is that she'll get to meet the new addition to our family, iA, before she goes back to California. Nadia's plan is to come back after our baby girl is born, iA.

The weekend was a lot of fun. I can't even remember what we did on Friday...not a good sign, but I'll blame it on "pregnancy brain." On Saturday, we attended Feraz and Asra's valima. Asra looked radiant in green and you could see how happy they were together. I sat with the girls and Z with the guys -- from where we were, it was tough to hear all the speeches. I'll take it as a blessing in disguise, in that it gave us the opportunity to socialize with everyone at our table. The highlight of my evening was the fact that I was able to find something that fit me -- the one shalwar kameez that still does. The problem is that we have another walima at the end of this month and maybe (depending on when I deliver) one more in August -- I have absolutely no idea what I'll do for those!

Sunday was my baby shower at my parents' place. It was nice to see some people I hadn't seen in quite awhile...unfortunately, since it was 4th of July weekend, there were also a lot of people who were out of town. Everyone seemed to have a cute time and our daughter (iA) has the most adorable outfits now. I had bought her several outfits, but most of them were more practical -- what I received at the shower was the "fun stuff." When we got home that evening, Shaan helped me put all the clothes away in her room -- nevermind washing them all with Dreft -- I was way too tired even though I didn't physically do too much.

So, as each week goes by, I get a little less worried about pre-term labor...and in some ways, more worried about it. Since Shaan was three weeks early (yes..i know you've all heard it before, but i really am stressed about it), I am afraid that this baby is going to decide to come even earlier, As each week passes, I feel better that studies show that our baby is getting stronger and stronger (iA). However, I'm now in those weeks that are typical preterm labor weeks (week 34 right now).

You guys will think I'm crazy, but, whenever I feel any pressure or pain, I wonder if it's a contraction. You would think I would know what a contraction feels like right? I'm not so sure! I've forgotten what they felt like and with Shaan, I didn't know I was contracting until I was pretty far along. So, as a result, I've gone into serious nesting mode. Over the past couple of days, I've been shopping like a mad-woman -- all those little things that you need to buy for the baby and just haven't gotten around to. It's amazing how it all adds up.

Today, I spent all evening washing clothes, burp cloths, towels, receiving blankets, sheets, etc. etc....how can one little baby have so much laundry? It made me start to wonder if it's really necessary to wash everything before the baby uses it (don't worry...I am). I am nowhere near done, but tomorrow is another day. Next step? Sterilizing the bottles, pacifiers and so forth. Not to mention, there is still so much shopping to be done. Zakir is convinced that I am going to make us broke with all the things I want for my little girl. :) What can I say? I spoiled Shaan (still do) and she is going to be no different, iA.

Last story for tonight -- Shaan is growing up way too fast for me. Last night, he asked me if he could sleep over at his Nani's house. As any of you who have (or have had) a 4 year old know, you don't necessarily take them seriously the first time -- it could just be a whim. However, he stayed on it all evening. I said, "Won't you miss me?" to which he replied "no." Once he saw the shock on my face, he clarified his statement for me -- "Mom, I always love you, but I won't miss you." It was his way of telling me that he was strong enough to be able to handle it. His nani and nana said yes (surprise, surprise) and we started to pack his stuff while they finished their evening walk.

Shaan pulled out one of his suitcases and started to pack.
- Pajamas for the evening
- Clothes for the next day
- Toothbrush in its travel case
- Mini toothpaste (that he keeps for trips and such)
- Huggie Bear (his Build a Bear that he bought with his Khala last year)
- Huggie Bear's pajamas to sleep in
- The little "car" pillow that he got from the hospital when he had surgery last week

Then we were off. He only wanted me to come into ammi's house and set up a bed for him (makeshift bed in their room next to their bed) and then leave. While i did that, he opened his suitcase and changed into his pajamas....and then, calmly told me, goodbye :(

Don't get me wrong -- I am so proud of him in that he is being independant and is asking to try new things. I'm also happy to know that he loves being there so much and won't mind staying overnight if he needs to when the baby is born. That being said, how does my 4 year old not need me at night? Today, when I went to Ammi's after work, his first question was - "can i stay here another night?" Are you kidding me? No way! -- Mommy can't take it. Last night, I had a little trouble falling asleep, because it was weird to be alone in the house..not scary...just weird. However, I'll be honest, I woke up this morning soooooo completely well-rested and of course, felt a little guilty about it as well :) I was at work earlier than normal and even had time to run an errand on my way in...i guess i should treasure those opportunities when I am afforded them.

Anyways..1 am now and tomorrow (or rather today) is a work day....off to bed. I'll try to post some photos tomorrow.

FYI...we still have no name for the little one...keep the suggestions coming!!!

Kaala Shah Kaala (The Real Blog)

2007-06-26T13:51:00.000-04:00

I hope you guys enjoy looking at the photos from our weekend in Hilton Head, but I also wanted to take some time to write about the weekend.

We left for Hilton Head on Friday morning. A 5.5 hour drive with everyone concerned that I needed to stop every hour. I did NOT stop every hour -- that would have been a type of torture in an of itself. What did I do? Shifted in my seat plenty and drank water (which mandated a stop or two). Zakir, Shaan and I got there at 3 pm and the rest of the family planned to arrive later that evening (Waqaar had some meetings he couldn't get out of and Mom and Dad wouldn't leave without him).

Once we got there, we checked in and headed straight down to the pool/beach. Shaan got into the water immediately..all three of us did... With how hot it was, that was the only comfortable place to be. I had bought a book for the trip (south asian novel...didn't finish it..turned out the be a trashy south asian novel...nothing interesting..I need to go pick up A Thousand Splendid Suns). Anyways, Shaan got comfortable in the water very quickly and before we knew it he was swimming!!!!

He's a four year old kid -- so why is it so shocking to me? Why am I so proud? Well, I'm a mom -- so we just can't help it. But more than that, we have been taking Shaan to swimming lessons since last summer -- on and off. He went willingly, liked to be in the pool, was getting more comfortable, but he wasn't swimming! I started lessons when I was 5 years old (not 3) -- so I kept reminding myself that he wasn't supposed to move to level three until the age of 5 or 6 (per the instructors...he's in level 2 now). But suddenly, this weekend, it all came together and he was off! All he did when we went to the pool (which we did once or twice a day) was swim out to whoever was in the pool and then swim back to the side. He even went to the deep water, jumped in and swam to us. He used his arms in proper form (when I told him too) and swam while taking breaths as long as I was there to hold his arm/support him when he came up for a breath. It was an amazing change...now I just have to hope he doesn't regress somewhere along the way.

That first night, we went to dinner at Charlie's Crab -- a restaurant on the water. The view was really nice and the food was really good as well. It was just the three of us since Ammi, Dad and Waqaar were arriving pretty late in the evening. Shaan got so tired out every day that he would fall asleep while we were at dinner.

Saturday, we woke up and went out to Sea Pines -- a housing community on Hilton Head that is known for it's lighthouse, marina, etc. Let me be honest -- it was anti-climatic -- we all would have rather been at the beach or the pool. It was one of those things that you do because everyone tells you too...so you can say you went. Well, we went..we saw it..done.

When we got back to the hotel, we, of course, went down to the water again. We realized, again, that we really are a tropical family. I don't choose the ski trips over the beach trips -- we like to go where we can just relax. One day, inshaAllah, we'll take the kids to Europe (Zakir hasn't been either) -- but, for now, we're happy with the tropics. They wouldn't take in all the history and remember it all at this age anyways.

Sunday morning was tough. Zakir had to leave (Waqaar went with him) so that he could drive back to Raleigh and catch his 7 pm flight to Miami for a training course (tough life eh?). Shaan wasn't too upset because he was just glad that he was getting to stay in Hilton Head for another day. Dad was great and took Shaan to the pool and beach regularly even after Zakir left -- their first trip down to the pool was about 45 minutes after Zakir and Waqaar left. The night, we had dinner beachside (Subway sandwiches :) ) and then spent the evening making sandcastles and playing in the waves. Since the sun set in front of the Westin (and not behind it where the beach is), we had a ton of time on the beach without the sun beating down on us. The windw as blowing..I could have stayed there forever...could have slept there.... It reminded me of our last trip to Hawaii -- when Shaan really did sleep by the water while the rest of us sat around and chatted. We missed Nadia, Amir and Deen this trip -- we had fun, but it just wasn't the same thing. Deen would have had so much fun with Shaan!! Inshallah, next year....

So, when we left the beach yesterday, all of us were about 20 shades darker. Shaan is totally kaala, shah kaala. He has a beautiful tan right now, but I'm wondering what he is going to look like by the end of the summer! Tan is beautifully...once he gets ashy, it just doesn't look good. I drove all the way back.... I had to keep telling Dad that there was nothing wrong with my driving (i.e. 'cause of the pregnancy). We stopped once at a rest area...5 min stop...then for lunch and gas (my parents like to sit somewhere and eat...Z and I are usually drive-thru/keep on going type of people...brutal. I made sure Shaan went to the bathroom and then we were on our way again. Then what happens? 20 minutes later, Shaan has to go to the bathroom -- you have got to be kidding me! He said "Mom..I know it's not in the plan..but I have to poo-poo" Joy. So, another stop..... At each stop, I made sure I got out of the car..moved around...ready for the next trek.

We still got home around 4:45 pm -- not too shabby. That gave me time to relax, catch up on email and prepare for today-- i.e. back to work. Shaan had his next swimming lesson that same evening at 6 pm. I decided to take him so that he wouldn't miss any days.

When we got there, I told his teacher -- "We went to Hilton Head this weekend and he can now swim." Do you think she believed me? I don't think so. She asked Shaan -- "You can swim?" He emphatically said "yes." She was ready to hold him anyways..but he said "move back please" and she obliged. He swam out to her like a champ and she was amazed (he was a different child last Thursday in class). From there on out, she told the children that Shaan would demonstrate first and then they would each try whatever skill/game he had demonstrated. One of the kids said "Why does he get to go first every time?" to which she replied, much to Shaan's happiness, "because he can swim."

Before we left, I wanted to ask his teacher what he needed to accomplish before level 3. I told Shaan as much and he said that he would ask. Dad typically takes Shaan to the pool for lessons, so this was my one evening to chat with the teacher. He went up to her and very politely asked what he should be working on. She said "His swimming is great..once he can take breaths regularly himself and can swim on his back (he's not too far), he can go to level three." All the way home, Shaan made phone calls to tell everyone about his newly acquired skill and how close he was to level three. And, as usual, I sat there beaming. :)

So that's my obscenely long blog for today...hope you guys enjoyed hearing about the weekend. I just found out that some of you are reading and not leaving comments -- tsk tsk...cmon guys..how do I know that I should keep writing? (Sarah/Nura/Ayesha -- doesn't apply to you of course! Keep the comments coming!)

Thanks everyone for the name suggestions as well -- keep them coming!!

Hilton Head #4

2007-06-26T12:21:00.000-04:00

Check out that form! He even had the arms going :)

Hilton Head #3

2007-06-26T12:17:00.001-04:00

Random photos with Z and Shaan

Hilton Head #2

2007-06-26T12:11:00.001-04:00

Shaan was a little afraid to go out to the ocean. The waves intimidated him. Eventually, I walked out there with him. Once he got his feet wet, he was happy to stay out there with Nana.

Once he got used to it, he wanted to stay there forever....just waiting for larger waves to hit him. A wave that barely nudged dad would knock Shaan off his feet. The weather was beautiful too...80 degrees...no sun (sunset)..and very windy...gorgeous!

I spent a little time by the water, but most of my time playing in the sand. Shaan and I made a small castle...some fish...a moat..and then took some photos to show Zakir (who had to leave that morning in order to catch his flight from Raleigh that evening).

This photo was taken for Zakir as well...Mom and Dad were off on a walk down the beach so we took it using the "extended arm" method.

Shaan swam in the pool at night for the first time this weekend. At first, he was a little intimidated, but had fun with it once he got comfortable.

Hilton Head #1

2007-06-26T12:04:00.001-04:00

This is when Shaan first started swimming. He would just swim back and forth between Zakir and I. He didn't care about toys..flotation devices..nothing...all he wanted to do was swim!

And he's off! He forgets to come up and breathe..but he can go really far just on the swimming alone!

This is when Waqaar and Zakir decided to have a little fun with shaan. He would say "3....2.....1...Blast Off!" and would throw him into the air. No...not to each other...straight up in the air. From my lounge chair, all I could see was my child flying up in the air every few seconds! He loved it though...he landed in the water and then swam across to the other person...who was waiting and ready to throw him up in the air.

Shaan on the deck..hat..sunglasses..and beach toys...all set!

Shaan relaxing poolside and having dinner before we headed out to the beach on our last evening at Hilton Head.

Oh The Power of God ~ Amazing!

2007-06-20T23:01:00.001-04:00

First and foremost -- I am addicted. I started a blog once last year, but just let it go. I found it hard to find deep things to talk about. I figured that no one would want to read about my everyday life. I don't use the blog as a diary -- I want people to read -- I want them to share their thoughts, feelings, experiences. It was so cool to get home this evening and see that my friends had left me a ton of comments -- thanks guys! I feel loved. :)

You're probably wondering about the title of the blog. I went to see Asma's daughter Yasmeen (yep..that's the spelling for those who are wondering, like I was). Mashallah, Mashallah, Mashallah -- she is soooo beautiful! I shouldn't be surprised..Jannah is gorgeous too mashallah. She's so cute that you get to the point that you don't want to stare at her too much -- nazar na lagjayay. She doesn't look like a newborn -- and I mean that as a serious compliment -- she has perfect little features and she's so alert! She was wide awake for the 1.5 hours that I was there. I, of course, want my little girl to take her time getting here, but seeing Yasmeen just makes me yearn for my own daughter even more.

Asma and I were talking about naming our children and how different it was the first time vs the second time. The first time, for Asma, Osama chose one of the names from their top five (Asma loved them all) and it just fit..just clicked...Jannah was named and there was no turning back. With their second, it took a little longer to be sure, although we all know that Jannah liked the name Yasmeen and has been calling her that for some time.

For me, when I went to the hospital 4.5 years ago, I had two names in mind -- Shaan and Zain. I had loved both names for many years and Zakir liked them as well. When Shaan was born, we just knew his name would be Shaan. We liked the name Zain (said a little bit like Zen/Zeyn), but we were afraid that it would be said like Zane ...Zane Hussain..that's cruel right?

This time, it's so different! People keep asking me if we've decided on a name. When I tell them that I haven't even created a short list, they are either amazed or quite honestly, probably don't believe me. Let me clear up any confusion -- I have noooo idea what I am going to name her! I had trouble finding a girl's name the first time around, and, once I found out that I was having a boy, I didn't have to worry about it anymore. So, faithful readers, this is where I need your help!

I need girl's names..badly...desperately. So far, Zakir and I can't agree on a name and/or we can't find one that just fits perfectly. Please send us your suggestions. If it worked for Hassan and Rabiah when tying to find a middle name for Issa, I'm hoping something will click for us as well. What are my criteria? I of course want it to be a name with a good meaning..if it's from the Quran, even better....but I also want it to be unique. I love having a unique name (didn't love it always..but oh well) and I would like the same for my daughter. The challenge is finding something relatively unique that isn't going to sound crazy 20 years from now. Asma brought up the name Inaya...so pretty..but her point was -- will it stand the test of time? I have no idea..but you get my point. Please fire away with your suggestions!!

**The photo is random..I just like to share a photo every day or two so that Zakir doesn't miss Shaan too much when he is out of town....and aren't children sooo beautiful (mA) when they're sleeping?!

All Dressed Up With Nowhere to Go

2007-06-20T12:28:00.000-04:00

Today was an interesting morning....Shaan has been so great and has been choosing his own clothes, getting ready fast, eating breakfast independently, and even brushing his teeth on his own when he's not too tired -- all in preparation for the arrival of his little sister (iA). Every day, he chooses a shirt without a collar (no party shirts mom!) and shorts...as well as boxer briefs (much prefers them over briefs..how quickly they grow up!).

Today was a little different. He must have stood at his closet for 10 minutes picking out the right outfit. He doesn't like for me to go in there -- he has to pick his clothes, get changed and then have the ta-da! moment with mom. Today, he chose the shirt that his dada gave him for Eid -- a simple, Ralph Lauren, white button-up shirt. A little dressy...but he knows it's completely his choice. Pants? Dark jeans. Again, a little dressy for a day at nani's, but I had to keep reminding myself that it was his choice. On the plus side, he didn't put a dress shirt with athletic shorts. Usually, he changes and then comes and shows me. Today, he brought his clothes to me and asked me to iron them for him.

I did....he went off and changed. When he came back, he wet his hair and brushed it. He looked adorable! Then, he asked for cologne. He has baby/kids cologne, but today, he wanted to borrow his dad's. He went and found some Ax spray, had me spray a little on him, and we were ready to go. He was so proud of how he looked! It was raining outside, so he made me pull up as close to my parents' garage as I could -- God forbid his beautiful clothes and hair get wet!

So that was our adventure this morning...stay tuned to see what this evening brings.

8.5 weeks to go...counting down..need to start being careful...

2007-06-19T17:00:00.000-04:00

As you can tell, it seems like I am only going to be blogging during the week since that's when Z is out of town. This weeken was crazy...fun...busy...insane.

Friday was a busy day. I had a lunch planned at my house for the aunties on Saturday and I went over to ammi's to cook the food. Really, she kept trying to do everything and have me relax, but there was no way I was going to have her do all the work for the party that I was supposed to be having. Fortunately, I had cleaned the house slowly all week and Z finished it up on Friday.

Friday night was the Asha Bhosle concert. It was pretty good..wouldn't call it great. Sumrien and Nura were there as well so it was fun to comment and joke with them -- and reminisce when old songs were sung. Asha Bhosle has an amaaaazing voice...sounded like a CD...and for most singers, that means electronics were used to make their voices sound even stronger. She sang songs like "Churaliya" and "In Ankhon Ki Masti"....took us back. She sang older ones that we didn't know (but our parents did!) and newer ones that we didn't know. What was funny is that Nura knew some of the older ones that Sumrien and I didn't -- because Waseem likes to play cassettes of old songs. Cassettes -- doesn't that word just take you way back?

So then Saturday came...lunch was at noon. Aunties called for directions all morning..all citing a different time for the party...pretty funny :) Overall, I think it went pretty well..the aunties were sitting and joking around and having an all around good time. I have to thank Sarah immensely...she helped me out sooo much ...probably doing more work than I did and telling me to sit down (I didn't listen...but she tried!). Not that I didn't love her to pieces before that, but that was well above the call of duty :) Thanks Sarah! ...oh and I should mention that she looked amazing! I thought the south beach thing was just another crock..but it looks like it works!..something to keep in mind for after the baby arrives iA. :)

Zakir spent that same time with Shaan and his cousins, Shahzayb and Sherjeel. Shaan had a whole day planned for them. Since Z is traveling more these days, Shaan knows that the weekends are all about him. First, they went to Barnes and Noble (Shaan thinks it's the library) to play with the trains. They were each allowed to buy one Level 1 book (Shaan and Shahzayb are mA reading really well now). Then, they were off to the Brier Creek pool..to swim..play..and eat (fries and coke...meal of champions). Finally, in swimsuits and not completely dry), they went to Maggie Moo's to get ice cream. Needless to say, Shaan was destined to sleep well that night.

After the party, there were soooo many leftovers. I tried to get my mom and mother in law to take as much as they could. The rest was dinner for Sarah, Ali, Zakir and I. :) The evening was nice and relaxing. We had dinner at our place...and then headed over to Sarah and Ali's for dessert (Al introduced me to Cold Stone's shakes..yum!) and some party planning for Laiq's party. Sarah has some awesome ideas...I really hope I'm not in the hospital delivering so I can make it and see it all in person!

Sunday was nice as well...low key.. One of our friends was visiting from Pakistan (here on business) so, after soccer in the morning, we spent time with him all afternoon. Zakir doesn't participate in father's day, so that was a non-issue. He just doesn't think it's important. I had bought him a few shirts...bought him some other things...but I do that all the time. So I gave them to him as I bought them. I jokingly told him, on Father's day, that those things were his gifts and he threatened to return them...insane... Since Shaan knew it was father's day, he thought that meant anpther fun day with daddy. He and Zakir went to Frankie's for miniature golf and bowling. Shaan came home and excitedly told me that he spent every dollar on the card -- kids are so innocent..he doesn't know (yet!) that the amount depends on what we put on the card. Again, another tiring day for Shaan, so he would sleep well and early....leaving Z and I to pack his things for the following day's flight.

And then..my weekdays alone start....which only means that I need to be more active with Shaan and I have plenty of time to think of all of the other things that I need to get done. I went to work as usual. Late in the afternoon, I went to my OB appt (every two weeks these days). I asked about the epidural. I've been on the fence about what I want to do this time. I do want the epidural, but, since I essentially didn't have it last time, I wonder whether I'm better off with it or without it. Also, I know that if you have it too early, it can slow your labor and I definitely do not want that happening.

**ok...for those who haven't had kids...you could stop reading now. I'm not talking about anything gross...but I know it makes you guys queasy and has absolutely no effect on me.

I asked the doc about what happened with me last time -- did I have it? did I have a little help? She said that they put it in, I was given a test dose, and then, since I was at 10 cm, they never hooked up the real bag (i.e. the true epidural)...so no, I didn't have it. On one hand, that makes me really proud of myself..and honestly shocked. I do want it this time, but only because I'm afraid that it could be tougher than it was last time. I was pleased to find out that, this time, I don't have to have an IV hooked up ahead of time if I want the epidural...phew!...'cause that's why I had it so late last time. So, long story short, I think I'll try and get it, but only after I'm pretty far along and have them give me a light dose...a little pain won't hurt me.

I also asked the doctor about the episiotomy...why did I have a third degree "effect" last time...well, apparently, since the baby was doing fine and I was doing fine, I shouldn't have let them use the vacuum device (stupid practice i was with before..all women so all the muslims go there..but they are idiots..no exaggeration). The sudden delivery caused me to need more stitches than I might have needed otherwise...greaaat. On the plus side, you live and learn...and I feel so much more confident this go-around.

Anyways..where was I? After my appt, I took Shaan to his swimming lessons. It was the first week that it has been 90 plus degrees. I had water with me, but I still had to sit there in the hot sun....not smart. By the time he was done and we left, I didn't feel so hot. I got him in the car...back to my mom's house and then handed him over to my mom to bathe and change.

Unfortunately, it didn't end there...i.e. I couldn't spend the entire evening relaxing and recovering from my day. Zakir's brother in law Asif (his sister's husband) had called from Pakistan that morning. He had flown there about a week ago because his father was in an accident and was unconscious. On Monday morning, we got the call that he didn't make it.... So, I of course, wanted to go over to my in-laws place to see how my sis in law, Farah, and her sis-in-law Humera (Asif's brother's wife) were doing. Humera is 37 weeks pregnant with this first child -- i'm keeping them in my duas...hoping the baby will wait until his/her daddy is back from Pakistan. In any case, mom, shaan and I went over there...for about an hour..and then home. I didn't tell ammi, but I didn't feel so hot by the end of it all...to be honest, my stomach hurt a bit (not contractions..but not comfortable)...I was really scared, but as anyone who knows me well knows, I tend to keep those types of feelings to myself.

Fortunately, when we got home, Shaan was exhausted and went to sleep almost right away. I followed him about an hour later and slept in this morning..and alhumdolillah, I feel great today. Lesson learned though..can't do that anymore. Dad insists that he will take Shaan from now on...starting today. I feel guilty because, the reason we have 6 pm classes for shaan is so that my parents are off the hook after work...but what can I do? I just can't take the chance. Already Shaan was three weeks early and my biggest fear these days is that this new baby will try to arrive even earlier...praying that she doesn't...

So that gets us to today..more to write about, but it's Tuesday and that means dinner at my parent's place...maybe I'll pick this up later tonight.

Please Don't Mow My Lawn!

2007-06-13T13:37:00.000-04:00

Swimming lessons finally started up again yesterday. I was stressed about them for a couple of reasons. First, the instructor changes for each session (every 2 weeks in the summer), so I never know how Shaan is going to react to a given teacher. Second, Shaan has been taking swim lessons for over a year and he was better last swimmer (would jump in and swim out to me) than he is now (we stopped altoether in the fall). I'm hoping that he'll have some good instructors this summer and we can get over this milestone and move on to something other than swimming lessons. He was awesome in class yesterday. If the teacher asked the kids to bob under water, some kids barely got their heads wet. Shaan, on the other hand, tried all the floats seriously and bobbed for so long that it scared me :)

After swimming, we went over to Waqaar's place. Every Tuesday, we have dinner with the family. We alternate between mom and dad's place, our place and Waqaar's place. Even though there's nothing special that we do there, Shaan goes absolutely crazy from the excitement. Last night was no different. He was bouncing around his apartment like it was made of rubber. After dinner, we came home, he watch his new favorite show (Gillette's Young Guns Racing -- celebs racing in Nascar cars), and went to bed.

This morning, he woke up at 7:30 am with me. I've been letting him have slow mornings while I work and then, when he's ready and has had breakfast, I drop him off at ammi's place and head to work. Today, he sat at the kitchen table, ate his cereal himself (yay!) and watched Good Morning America. He has always had a fascination with the weather updates. Today, he saw that they said it would rain all day, found his "Diego" umbrella, and we were on our way.

Later, he called me at work. His exact words? "Mom..it's not raining outside. The weather people said it was going to rain. What is wrong with those people?! They don't know what they are talking about." How many four year olds do you know who pay so much attention to the weatherman? :)

I used the opportunity to tell him that Jannah has a new baby sister. Side note: I knew it was a girl! Ok..i was a little less sure, but Zakir and Shaan were absolutely certain. I had my doubts because so many people (including Maryam, who has never been wrong) were convinced that Asma was having a boy. Anyways, Shaan's first question was "Why didn't Jannah come to our house?" He knew that, if Asma went into labour at some odd hour, Jannah might have been over at our place for some time. So, he decided that he had to "email" or "fax" Jannah immediately. Since he didn't have a way to do that with his nani, he asked me to type it up for him and send it. The text of it read:

Jannah -

I wondered where you were when your mom took her baby out. I am glad that you have your baby sister. I hope you love her.

Shaan

I'm hoping that Asma and Osama get a kick out of it. I'm really curious to see what name they choose...and so jealous that they have their little girl and can start their life with her. Jealous in a good way of course...so happy for them and can't wait until I am in their shoes (iA).

So, one more day until Zakir returns from his first week away from the family. Since we have a busy weekend coming up, Waqaar was planning to come over and mow the lawn -- as a surprise for Zakir so that he could relax this weekend. I ended up telling him about it today since it's been raining non-stop all day and it's not going to end up happening. As many of you know, Zakir is crazy about the yard ..it has to be perfect...mowed weekly...etc. So, when I told him about it, he was thankful, but almost relieved that Waqaar wouldn't get a chance to mow it since it all has to be perfect --- he is absolutely insane :)

My baby is a reader!

2007-06-11T21:36:00.000-04:00

Ok..so Shaan has been reading for some time, and the title of this post is a bit of an exaggeration.....but Shaan *did* have a reading breakthrough today. As many of you know, Shaan has to read several pages of one of his books on a daily basis (so challenging...fitting that in with math, writing, arabic, etc etc..how did our parents do it??). This past weekend, he wanted to buy another "Thomas and Friends" train. He is allowed one per week (yes..as MoD says -- we spoil him...I'm ok with that). He wanted to get another one and his calendar showed him that it had not been one week yet -- so now what?

A few days before, I had bought him a new level 1 book (no library..yes..again I know that I spoil him..he thinks that Barnes and Noble is the library). This is probably the longest one that he has every tried to read in one sitting -- 32 pages. He had not started it, but knows that I love when he reads to me. In typical Shaan fashion, he struck a deal with me -- "Mama..If I read the whole book..can I buy Toby?" (character on the show) I'm a softie, so the answer was, of course, "yes." He sat there and read the whole thing in one shot...nice..i was a proud mom to say the least.

Then, today, we're in the car and I ask him which book he is going to read. His Thomas and Friends book (hasn't started it yet) or the 32 page book he had read through once. As parents of 3+ year olds know, kids memorize books -- but usually only after they have read them at least three times. He decided to read the book that had earned him the new toy. He read it so fast! 5 and 6 letter words..no problem! He was so impressed with himself that 1) he read far more pages that I would have asked him to and 2) he was giggling and laughing at the end of each sentence. He's also figured out what exclamation marks, periods, and questions marks are...and he'll say a sentence like it has a period..see the exclamation mark (for example) and say it again with the correct emphasis. I can't believe that 4 year olds are so advanced these days -- I don't remember that from when I was young (and yes Waqaar, I know that was eons ago).

So, not that Shaan doesn't make me proud every day...but today was a big step for both of us...and I wish Z had been here to see it (though I did record a bit and send it to him!).

Loneeeely...oh so loneeely...

2007-06-11T21:23:00.000-04:00

Today was Zakir's first day as a consultant...very exciting for him..and all of us really. I am so happy for him, but not looking forward to having to do everything for myself and Shaan throughout my last trimester of pregnancy. On the plus side, I have so much family and so many awesome friends close by that I'm not worried about being in a bind and having no one to help me out.

I spent yesterday evening packing for Zakir -- I really need to teach him how to do that himself. In other words, he doesn't know how to pack everything he needs for 4 days in 1 carry-on -- my fault -- i've always done it for him! The night was filled with Zakir waking up every hour or so, thinking that he hadn't heard the alarm clock and was going to miss his flight. His flight was at 6 am and therefore, the taxi was set to pick him up at 4:40 in the morning. Was that too late for a Monday morning? I would think not, but we really had no idea.

Zakir got up at 4 am and spent the next 40 minutes making as much noise as he could..running from point a to b to c and back to a. I didn't mind even though I was now wide awake (though I never said a word..intent to fall asleep again). At 4:35 am, I can tell he's stressing about the cab. He calls the company, they say they're on their way, and hang up on him -- stellar customer service. I shout down to him "Don't worry..I'm awake...if they don't show up, I will drive you..you won't miss your flight." The problem: I can't pick up Shaan. Zakir would have put him in the car, but I would have had to "walk" him back inside. No big deal in the long run..Shaan has summer vacation and he is so understanding that we should be ok.

4:40 comes..the cab company calls "Where exactly is your house? And when do you need the cab? Now?" Before he even answered the call, I told Zakir to tell them to forget it and I would drive him. He did so, annoyed, and quickly put Shaan in the car with his blanket while I brushed my teeth and ran down to the car.

4:45 and we're on our way...5 min drive, but, like I said, we had no idea how busy the airport would be. We drove up and it's packed!! Shaan wakes up right as we drive into the airport..I quietly tell him that we're at the airport dropping Daddy off in the hopes that he won't be too mad. His eyes pop open and he has the biggest grin on his face! He was so happy that he got to drop his daddy off at the airport. We drop off Z and drive home -- waiting for the call that says that he's checked in, made it through security and isn't going to make his flight. Since he was taking one of the smaller airlines at RDU, he was lucky and got checked in really fast. Shaan fought sleep until he got the call from his daddy and then fell asleep within seconds.

Then it should have been a normal day right? Drop Shaan off at ammi's, go to work, take Shaan to swimming after work and then home for dinner and then bed. Even though the morning was normal..it felt weird...Shaan and I missed Z and he missed us...crazy since we never see each other during the day. Shaan is handling it beautifully though. I thought swimming would take my mind off of it, but it got canceled...due to a few drops of rain..uggh..so much for distracting myself.

Anyways..day 1 is almost done. We spoke to Z and he sounds exhausted. I know that he was running on adrenaline all day. Inshallah, this opportunity is going to be beneficial as he drives towards his career goals...only time will tell..say dua for us...all four of us (iA).

Bring on the Ice Cream!

2007-06-11T21:13:00.000-04:00

As I was leaving a comment on Sarah's blog, I realized that, now that Zakir is traveling all week..every week...I have enough time on my hands to actually blog. I don't at all expect that I'll be regular in my posts, but I'll write when the urge hits me.

So this was a full weekend. On Friday, I spent the morning at the doc's office...well, lab really. I failed the 1 hr glucola test. Yes..failed..that's exactly how they said it to me. For someone who defined her childhood by her good grades, that was harsh! So, I had to go in for the three hour glucola...draw blood...drink straight sugar..wait 1 hour...draw blood..wait 1 hour..draw blood...you get the point.

I have a tendency to read everything on the web..so as soon as I was told that I might have gestational diabetes, I started researching the risk to me..to the baby..the signs. So what are the signs? Those at high risk are over 25 (definitely me), of any race by white essentially (me again), have had a large baby before (definitely not me), had a baby with low blood sugar (me), had a baby with jaundice (me again), and had a baby who was born 3 or more weeks early (me again). At this point, I was worried..so the next step? Figure out if I have a reason to worry..i.e. what does it mean for the baby or me if I have gestational diabetes?

For me, it means that I could feel pretty crappy if I don't eat regular meals and snacks with low or no sugar. I might have had to check my insulin multiple times a day and even take insulin depending on how bad it was. It also meant that I might have to deliver a 9lb+ baby -- terrifying.

So what about the baby? The absolute worst thing would be stillbirth. After our loss last year, I couldn't get that out of my head. If not that, it just meant that the baby might have low blood sugar at birth and possibly jaundice -- I could deal with those since we had seen it before.

What's brutal is that they make you wait until Monday to find out your test results. At noon, I still hadn't heard from them, so I had to be that patient who calls and harasses the nurses. :) They were great though. Alhumdolillah, I am nowhere near having diabetes...the first test was a complete false positive. She could tell that I'm neurotic and asked if I wanted to know my sugar level for each draw..which of course I did..and they made me feel even better.

How did I celebrate? I nice, big, fudgsicle :) Aaah...the wonderful world of sugar highs :)

Shaan's End of Year School Party

2007-05-25T15:02:00.000-04:00

So, lucky me, I was signed up for the party committee for the end of year party. Honestly, it ended up being a lot of fun, but as some of you know and some of you will find out, these things have a tendency to sneak up on you.

The party was in his classroom (and the yard behind his classroom). The snack was fruit kabobs, smoothies, cheese, crackers, etc. The theme was a Luau. They limbo-d, did some Hula Hoopla, went "Fishing" for prizes, made leis, and just had an all-around good time. I have a lot of photos posted at http://photos.yahoo.com/sheezakhussain (for all of the parents who missed it), but here are a few.

Antique Car Show

2007-05-21T17:45:00.000-04:00

Shaan, Zakir and I attended an antique car show this past weekend. If it has to do with any kind of vehicle, Shaan is in heaven. :) Ironically, he went to a different car show (and auction) with his nana and nani the day before.

Grad Pics -- Couldn't just post five!

2007-05-21T17:40:00.000-04:00

You had to know that I couldn't just post five photos of Shaan's graduation. :) The first photo is of Shaan and his friend Ethan. The last photo is when the kids were getting ready to take a bow at the end of one of the short plays that they performed for the the parents.

Shaan Graduated :)

2007-05-21T17:36:00.000-04:00

Today was a really proud day for Zakir and I. :) Shaan graduated from preschool! They did two short plays for all of the parents and then they had the diploma ceremony. I've attached a few of the maaaany photos that we took. One of the photos is from the classroom, but the others are from the playground -- the lighting was just soo much better :)

Huggy-Bear and the Leather Chairs

2007-05-21T17:25:00.000-04:00

Shaan insisted that we buy these two leather chairs for him and his sister (iA). He now wants to take all of his photos on that chair. Also, he "made" Huggy-Bear over 6 months ago with his Khala and now Huggy-bear is back in our lives -- he sleeps with shaan..we have a car seat in the car for Huggy-bear...and Huggy-bear is changed every morning and evening.

I also added some other random photos from the past few weeks.

More Photos from the Mini-Aqiqa

2007-05-21T17:19:00.000-04:00

And still more photos from NJ...

Deen's Mini-Aqiqa in NJ

2007-05-21T17:14:00.000-04:00

Deen's dada and daadi had a mini-aqiqa for Deen in NJ a few weeks ago.

Recent Photos - Starting with Deen in NJ

2007-05-21T17:10:00.000-04:00

I know I have been awful about sharing photos of myself and the fam, so I figure a blog is an easy way to 1) post photos 2) add any commentary that should go with them. The first ones are random photos from when we saw Deen and the fam in NJ.

I posted these first, because Deen is just so adorable mA!! I miss those big cheeks that Shaan had ....hopefully Deeni keeps them a little longer than Shaan did!

Enjoy!